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Reviews For Soul Stealer
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous Date: 02 Oct 2017 08:54 AM Title: Chapter 1

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Reviewer: Barbara Morford Anonymous Date: 28 Oct 2016 09:44 AM Title: Chapter 1

Teaching is great profession and the number of peoples are serving in this filed and help other children’s and teenagers to get professional resume writer graduate and enhance their thinking capabilities. I like your sharing post that is knowledgeable for me and help me to recover my mistakes.

Reviewer: Monty Mason Signed Date: 02 Nov 2013 10:02 PM Title: Chapter 1

I forgot to see the rating and turned out this is a lot more mature than I thought it would've been lol.


For grammar, it seems fine except this part:

“[...] I bring them to you, let you hear their confessions, and I kill them in imaginative ways,[...]"

It should be:

 

“[...] I'll bring them to you, let you hear their confessions, and I'll kill them in imaginative ways,[...]" (edited parts are bolded)

Of course I know you've mentioned that this is just a first draft. So I'm sure you'll end up fixing these and changing some thing around perhaps to accomodate a longer/ more in-depth plot perhaps.


The detailed descriptions are good, of course they tend to get a little too good at some points (Claudia's body description lol), but I suppose that's needed for a story of this nature. Now I'll honestly say that this is no original idea, then again 99% of the ideas in the world today won't really be original. That being said, it's your characters that will either make or break your story in the future chapters. How well the characters will be developed will be the game changer for how well the story does.


For a first chapter, you've done a fine job introducing everyone and setting up the mood/atmosphere of the story. Not too mention the whole aspect with the priest knowing about the demons also creates different possibilties for sub-plots. One possibility could be: An organization of church priests who hunt down demons and Sallos will come across them hindering his ultimate goal of getting her soul. But within those conflicts he gains new allies of the church, who are still somewhat antagonistic towards him but are also slightly friendly and respectful of him. It can make for interesting encounters, that will of course only work if you plan on including action and what not (just my imagination going wild lol).

Also I don't know what's up with the spacing between the lines, it seems like youv'e one too many spaces. I don't know if that's DPA's doing or yourse in the text editor, but best to get it sorted out for future chapters, it adds on unnecessary space (unless that was your intention, to create extra spacing to make it easier on the eye perhaps?)

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